I once was lost, but hey... I'm not lost anymore WOOT WOOT!!! :)

So, have you ever had that feeling that you should be doing something, and you thought you knew what it was, but you weren't quite sure?  Well, I've been having a lot of those moments lately.. Stumbling around, going through the motions of my life, but not really fitting in, not really thinking that people truly accepted me for who I am, and well....I've been thinking that people couldn't accept me... as ME.. Until now.......  *insert applause here*


I am so excited about this.. I've been feeling a pull at my heart for months now; but I didn't know what I was being asked to do. I mean come on, ya'll already know that I tend to over analyze everything, right?? However, I've been quietly listening lately for an answer for what seemed like an eternity! I mean Seriously?!?!?! ANY ANSWER would be good.  Well, I am happy to admit that I've finally got that answer!!

For the past 3 months I have been attending CR. I have been focusing more on what I DO have, instead of what I don't. I have been surrounding myself with other people who have hang-ups like me.  We all know those kind of people don't we?? I mean really think about this for a second... (pause for *deep thinking*)... Yeah... THOSE people..You know... the friends and family members that have struggles in their lives, the ones that can't let go of the past, the ones that can't seem to get ahead in their relationships, or get ahead in life!!  Well, at CR, I've been listening, sharing, and observing for months and I am happy to report, I finally feel like I am home.  I finally feel like all of my struggles are melting away.  I finally feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted from me. I finally feel like I'm not ALONE!  

Now, do I think that I will never have another struggle?  Uh... No!  But I know that I am on the right path, and here's why:  I'm coming out of my shell again.  I'm able to carry on a conversation with people who I wouldn't ordinarily reach out to. I no longer feel like I have to keep up with anyone's stuff, I no longer feel like I have to compete with people for their love, or attention.  I just feel..........................Happy!  Internally happy; you know.. the kind of happy you should feel every day, deep within your soul.  How awesome is that??

I'll tell you how awesome it is for me:  I have made a huge decision to help others heal their hurts, habits, and hang-ups.  I signed the papers last night to solidify my responsibilities with CR.  Do I know how I will be used yet?  Nope.. Do I fully understand what this means? Nope.. Am I sure that this is the BEST thing for me?  Absolutely!!!!  Sometimes,  it's not about what I know in my head.. it's about what I feel in my heart.  I decided that I can be a useful tool to help others work through their personal struggles; their hurts, habits, and hang-ups.. and I can't express how thankful I am that I can be a part of others' healing, overcoming their struggles, and finding their internal happiness..  :)

That, my friends, is what makes ME happy. I'm no longer lost.. I'm no longer wondering what I'm supposed to do. I'm not ALONE, but I think I've found my home. 

Hey buddy, do you have a match!?!?!?

A lot can be said about a person by the way they cope with bad situations.  Some turn to substances, some turn to inflicting physical pain on themselves or others, some turn to food, others just turn off the world so they can process the news.

Hi my name is Lisa, I bet you can't tell which one of those categories I fall into? Who would've guessed with a blog post (to the general public, I might add) that I fall into the "isolation" category. Yes, siree.. I said it.. Isolation is my coping mechanism.  After all, It has worked so well (insert sarcasm here) for me in the past, but lately?  Not so much!! I keep thinking back to what my dad always tells me, "No matter what honey, you always land on your feet."  Well these days, I sure feel like I spend more time on my knees in prayer, than on my feet.. that's for sure!!




As with any great epiphany, I've been thinking a lot about why I isolate myself from others when things feel like they're crushing me, and I think I'm missing just one thing..Keep reading, and then tell me if you think I'm on the right path here...

Sometimes it is the relationships in our lives that save us from those dark and terrible moments; moments like hearing your mom has cancer, or finding out your uncle has leukemia, or hearing that your friend's dad has passed away.  

So tonight readers, I will ask one simple question:  Do you have the kind of relationships in your life that light the way when you just can't seem to generate a little... tiny.. spark?  

If you answered yes to that question, I'm so glad that there are people in your life that love and care for you. You are truly one of the lucky ones!! :)

If you answered no to that question; Try this..Take some time to reflect upon what is holding you back from those relationships. Then get out there and start developing them!! (Really, that's more of a request than a direct order) After all, there is nothing more valuable than a network of people in your life when life seems to be crushing you.

Seriously folks.. Life is precious!  Don't let another day go by without sharing YOUR spark.   

Sometimes....

Sometimes, it takes everything we have to just breathe. This week (although only Tuesday) is that time for me.

A lot of stresses are hitting all at once lately. Now while the old me would prefer to ignore them and stay inside my protective bubble, I realize that I must recognize these stresses, work through them, and move on. It's called LIFE. Good, bad, or ugly we are here to live it.. So live it I shall!

This is no easy task for me because I often doubt my own ability to move forward. I often over- analyze every situation to the point of driving me a little crazy.  I often sabotage my own life so that I can pave the way for others.  Not this time.. Oh no! Not this time.  

This time, instead of old habits taking over, I have decided that a peaceful heart, a morning alone with prayer, keeping a positive outlook, and being true to myself will pull me through whatever "life" throws my way. 

It has taken me quite some time to get to this point; but now that I'm here, I'm grateful to my CR friends who have helped me see that overcoming my own discomfort, my own insecurities; I am able to MOVE forward instead of retreating back into my protective bubble. 

The bubble has popped!  *POP* Did you hear it? 

I will climb down off my soap box now. :)

Good night. Hold your children tight. My hope tonight is that my words will be inspire one person to shed their bubble and move forward.. :)

What price am I willing to pay?

There are so many things happening in my life right now.  Mom is still battling her cancer, but thank God she only has one chemo treatment left.  Then I found out another family member has the most aggressive type of leukemia there is; so he begins intensive chemotherapy this week too, soon to be followed by a bone marrow transplant.

I also haven't been feeling my best lately.  I finally took myself to the doctor, and my diverticulitis has flared up again, so THREE antibiotics later, here I sit on a clear liquid diet... again.  UGH! 

All of these medical problems seem like a lot, right?  Well, in my experience lately, there are no coincidences.. EVERYTHING happens for one reason or another... and here is what I believe to be true after doing a ton of reading.

1) Smoking=CANCER.. I never thought I would be one of those reformed smokers that preached to others, but I beg of you; if you're still smoking... please stop, and stop NOW!  Got it?




2)  Help others:  However you can, whenever you can. In relation to that topic, I am looking for a few people who would be open to volunteering for bone marrow donation. I must warn you, I do not know any of the specifics (i.e. what is involved in the screening process, what type will be needed, time frame, etc.).. I have tried to find information on the screening process, and how matches are determined through various leukemia sites, and honestly... the only information available is for potential matches, and what to expect during the donation procedure.  Not much help to concerned family members.. neat, huh??


3) Finally, I am admitting to myself, and to all of you, that although I had every intention in the WORLD of staying focused to this 90 day Challenge life has been swirling around me, and I fell off.  I believe that because of the poor food choices I made, I now have to deal with the pain of the diverticulitis flare up. Now, I am no doctor, but I see a definite correlation here  :(... So, I guess this was God's way of telling me that I need to keep drinking my Vi shakes. Shakes are what my body NEEDS. Shakes have kept me healthy for the past 19 months. Shakes do a body good.  Ok body, you've got my attention.. I won't stop drinking them again, I promise..

Please leave comments on any of the above topics.  I'm interested in hearing what you have to say.

Have a great day, love yourself as you would love others, and focus on your health!  :)

Wander off the path every now and then..

I was thinking about writing today, needless to say I didn't have much luck with inspiration. So, I thought I would give you a little peak into what taking the long way around did for me; here on the Internet (in public).  To be honest, this blog began as a weight loss journal for the masses. Sort of a way for me to showcase my physical transformation. This began as a means for me to have center stage on top of a very large soapbox for a few minutes of your day. Somewhere along the way it morphed into something else; something better..but never in a million years would I have ever guessed that it would turn into something so BIG.. Ok.. stop..now think big (grandiose, large, extra huge) and then,... go bigger than THAT!   

Seriously, what I have done here is transform my LIFE. Sure, I still talk about weight loss, because it is a very big (no pun intended) part of who I am. Don't get me wrong, I have had GREAT weight loss results (thank you Vi, and Vi family) However, I think I am happiest because I have found my words again. (yippee!)  Speaking to those of you who know me, you know that I can talk.. :) *wink, wink*  What I suppose I mean by "I have found my words" is this:  I realize that people may not always like what I have to say, but I have a right to say what I feel in my heart.  <3


I have learned that I am easily inspired by others, but I have also learned that my story is inspiring others. :)  I have had so many people reach out to me through email and say things like, "Thank you for those words, they are just what I needed to hear today" and "That brought me to tears, thank you for sharing."   I don't know why I ever felt like I lost my words... but for a long time, I didn't feel like I had anything to say. Not one.single. positive. encouraging. word. Now, it seems that's all that comes out of my mouth. Yay me.. and Yay YOU!!  Thank you for sharing your words with me!  :) 

Now, this journey I'm on is not always easy; in fact, some people think I've lost my mind (or should).. but, instead of letting that get to me, instead of letting negative comments drag me down, I'm letting them build me up. You're probably thinking who does that?!?!?!?!? I know it sounds cheesy, but I promise you it is the truth.. Old friends who knew the deep, dark, cynical me are probably thinking I'm just "acting" positive. They may think that I'm just going through a phase and at any moment I will slip back into my old habits. Sorry to tell ya (not really) that is incorrect. Don't misunderstand: I don't live every moment, of every day happy..  Does that make me a hypocrite?  Absolutely not!!! 

Here's the thing..In order for me to shift my behavior, I had to recognize there are only two ways I can choose to think about things.. There is the old way, which sounds a lot like this: "Oh no, not that again".. "I can't".. "I don't think (feel, want)".. "I hate that".. OR there is the new way which sounds something like this: "Sure thing" .. "That's awesome".. "I've got it covered".. "I believe".. "I know".. "I AM".. Today, I can speak the words, "I have faith" and actually mean them.

You see once I realized that it was way easier to say YES to feeling love, and opening myself up to receive love in return, my entire reason for waking up in the morning changed. All of the other things that came along with that feeling of wholeness (e.g. happiness, peace, communication, positivity) just sort of showed up. (WOO HOO!!)  Don't get me wrong.. I'm very glad those other feelings appeared..I'm sure my kids, co-workers, friends, parents, and readers are too :)..



So I leave you with this my friends:  The next time you start a journey, take time to wander off the path. You may be pleasantly surprised at what you find. I did.. and now the title of this blog "Weight? Whatever!!!" has a whole new meaning to me.  :)

Enjoy your night, hold your kids tight.. and let love surround you! 

 

How can you put a pricetag on what I'm worth??

Last night as I was listening to a friend talk about her feelings of worthlessness.  That got me thinking about something.. How many times in the past have I been looking for that next exhilarating feeling, that next proverbial "stamp of approval" for things that I want to accomplish in my life? Keep reading to find out where that train of thought took me...

So many times in my past I was doing what was right (or at least felt right at the time), and what was expected of me; not what was necessarily making me happy, or giving back to others.  Now, I don't think my parents, teachers, or friends ever MADE me do things I wasn't comfortable with..that's not what I'm trying to say.. (please don't read between the lines here) I WANTED to do everything that I've done in the past..but I think what I ended up with was a sense of relief that I COULD do it, instead of the satisfaction deep in my soul that made me all warm and fuzzy. All I really WANTED to feel (with whatever I was involved in) was a feeling of WORTH. 

I would think to myself, "If someone could just see that I was a good person on the inside, and not really care about how (or what) I was doing on the outside" it will make me happier, more fulfilled..


Ya know, I think it is our natural instinct to want to please others. I think the power is within each and every one of us to want to make the best of a bad situation regardless of what that situation is.  However, in the past when I made decisions solely based on peer pressure, parental guidance, or a strong influencer's suggestion.. I had to ask myself.. "Am I really doing ths because I want to, or am I doing this to seek someone's approval and gain a little of their love and attention?"  Lately, I realize it was a little of both.  However, my internal desire to be loved and wanted often motivates me to do things that are not perhaps in the best interest of my own personal development.


So how have I been able to overcome these feelings of worthlessness?  I have been surrendering my life everyday. I have been making a list of personal items I need to let go of every day.  I have been seeking guidance, forgiveness for my attitude, and for my actions EVERY day. 

You've probably guessed that it is a constant struggle for me; realizing that I HAVE WORTH! I have an outlook like no other. I have dreams, goals, and abilities that no one else in the world has.. I have the power within me to change MY way of thinking. I alone, have the power to hang on to my faith and know with 100% certainty that whatever I am doing is what I am meant to do. That my friends gives me an incredible feeling of worth!

This song speaks volumes to me..

Who is this person?? Oh yeah, it's me!

So once again I have been blown away by an epiphany.  

As I was talking to a friend the other day, I kept hearing them utter the phrases "I can't", "I don't want to", "It's hard" and then it was like something exploded in my head.. That's exactly how I used to sound,  I thought to myself.. THOSE are the words I used to say, THAT is how I used to feel. What caused me to get to that negative place??  I say USED to, because it's like a light switch has been flipped in my head, those words just aren't in my vocabulary anymore. WOO HOO to me! 

I can't begin to explain the overwhelming sense of relief I have been feeling lately.  You must be thinking.. Gee Lisa, did you win the lottery or something? 

My response is: Nope.. that's not it.. 

In fact, I still have monetary struggles.  I still wonder how the kids will turn out as adults.  I am still concerned about health, fitness, and people's general well-being.  However, those issues are not in my control.  They are not my issues, and I need to surrender everything or I risk losing everything.... again... 

Well, if you've been following my journey, you know that there have been some drastic changes in my life. It seems sometimes like my life has really only just begun (Insert cheesy Carpenter's song here). 

While I feel as though I've accomplished so much in a relatively short period of time, until recently I had no real direction; no sense of purpose, no motivation, no REAL desire for anything good or bad, I just felt nothing.. No overly happy thoughts, no overly sad thoughts, I just felt nothing.. Could this be ALL there is for me?  Will I be stumbling through life wondering what I'm supposed to be doing forever?  Will I always feel like something is missing?  Surely that can't be right.. Because I am goal driven. I am capable of anything.. I am for all intents and purposes a lifelong learner-lifetime achiever.  

I have just chosen to take the learning to the next level!!  One that I believe will move me in an upward direction.

Here's the thing.. a Few months ago, I knew there was something missing in my life. I didn't know what "it" was, but it was always just out of reach.  What was that little voice in my head?  I had no clue.. but I knew I was missing out on something great. Something.. what was that??? 



So I made a choice!!  I made a choice to always focus on the positive, even if that means that I will take small steps to achieve greatness, I will make them anyway.  If I am (which I already know) going to inspire others, I need to inspire myself. If I am to be set free from the negative thoughts that surround me, I need to let them go.  I realized that other people's problems were not my own, but that I could still listen without being apathetic.
 
If you are remotely curious about my choices, if you want to know how I could turn from being negative to positive, please ask. If you want to keep reading to see if I change back to my old ways, I welcome you to keep watching.  If you want to keep reading to see how this all plays out (because you've known me before) you are very welcome to do that too.  


Feel free to post comments here to my wall if you are so inclined, or email me and ask. You can reach me at lisaschallenge@gmail.com

I'm afraid.. oh wait.. maybe I'm not...

I have been thinking a lot lately about fear and the effects fear has had on my life.  Things like, where I would be today if I hadn't been afraid of doing this, or that? What amazing journeys would I have taken? How many inspiring people would I have met? What great things could I have already accomplished?



Living my life without fear has been a slow (translation-painful) process for me.  I keep telling myself that "This is what happens when you start a journey of self-discovery"..  Is this entire process comfortable?  Uh-NO!  

Truthfully, I don't know why I am so surprised at this. Deep down I always knew my life was messy. I always knew that I would eventually have to deal with all of the painful junk in the past before I could emerge as this wonderfully happy person.. I just didn't realize that it would be SO scary to really look at EVERYTHING. I am so used to comfortable pain. I'm used to stuffing my feelings into a box and only pulling them out when it is absolutely necessary. I'm used to hiding behind excuses. I'm used to being afraid. I'm used to fear consuming my life. Yeah, this whole self-discovery thing.. It is difficult.. but honestly, what do I have to be afraid of? Feelings?  Oooh..  (insert shudder here)

I tell myself often, "So what?!.. life is messy."  I fully acknowledge (admit, confess, or whatever term is socially acceptable these days) that my life has been (and still is) messy.  I have made mistakes (some worse than others), but I am still alive. I'm not afraid of the PAST any longer.. I mean, how can I be?  Those things (bad choices, painful emotions, etc.) are in the past! They have already happened! 

So, today, from a loving, non-fearing heart.. I'm kicking fear out of my life.  Of course I say this, while I sit in my safe little house all cozy and unafraid. The point is this; while sitting here pondering the concept of kicking fear out of my life forever, I realize that it is not going to be that simple. I mean, I know I can't just snap my fingers *poof* and make all the fear stop ...But there are some things I CAN do.. For example; I can believe in myself, believe that what I have to say is important, believe that I can accomplish great things, believe that I will travel to exciting locations, and believe in my ability to recognize the truth and abolish the lies.

So my lesson for the day is this:  Fear only becomes prevalent when I allow it to.  If I stop allowing it into my conscious mind, if I live my life without always wondering what if, if I can live right now.. in THIS moment, I can (and WILL) kick fear out of my life forever....

Thanks for reading. :)

I may not be perfect, but I'm full of love.  

Typically I write about weight loss, or something relating to weight loss.  The topic of weight loss does not completely define me. I still struggle with things. I still have family issues, job stress, and parental concerns.  This blog is dedicated to a couple of my friends.  If you're reading, you know who you are.. I don't think that it's necessary to call anybody out.  With that said, I want to say thank you.  This is quite possibly the MOST eye opening/inspiring book I have EVER read. Now on to the story!  :)
With great hesitation I started reading a book that a very dear friend recommended called Return to Love.  This friend has been talking to me for over a year about how this book transformed her life.  Well, I'm more of a fiction ONLY reader; you know.. vampires, werewolves, supernatural creatures and the like are my typical genre. However, I promised her that I would read this self-help book (I should mention here I always keep my promises-for those of you who don't know me) and all I can say is WOW..  I'm speechless.  <-- not easy to render ME speechless.

I'm speechless because as I was reading, I felt as though the author were speaking directly to me. Yep, that's it. She was talking to me about my life.  My messy, overindulgent, poor self-esteemed, sometimes chaotic, busy life.  Welcome to that life by the way.. :)  I should probably mention that I have had a great deal of emotional turmoil lately-mom's cancer, one of my girlfriend's father passed away, my daughter moved out, and I often feel like I bear the weight of the world on my shoulders. It has been a perfect time to seek some divine intervention.  Seemed like a great idea. I honestly don't feel like I fit in well with most people; (translation- I don't get out much).. So it seemed like a great idea to turn to someone I can talk to when I'm completely alone. So, I have been asking God to give me a sign.  I need Him to show me how to live a more productive life, and well, this book is it. Just like in the words of my favorite Blue Collar Comedy Tour participant Bill Engvall "Here's your sign."  

Now before I go any further, please let me preface the remainder of this post by saying this blog post is NOT a book review. I am simply recreating (as best I can) the epiphanies I have encountered while reading.  I am not suggesting that you read the book, because if you're meant to read it I have no doubt you will.  I am simply sharing some of my favorite excerpts; some of the paragraphs that made me weep.  I was sobbing at the first example listed below because it is just so full of honesty, and THAT (the honest truth, brutal, difficult, honesty) is something that is seriously lacking in all aspects of my life.

If you care to read on, I would be delighted.  If you don't, perhaps you were not meant to hear these messages yet.. but nonetheless I feel compelled to share them.

"The world has taught us we are less than perfect.  In fact, we have been taught that it's arrogant to think we're deserving of total happiness.  This is the point where we're stuck. If anything comes into our lives-love, success, happiness-which seems like it would be suited to a "deserving" person, our subconscious mind concludes it can't possibly be for us.  And so we sabotage." (p.274)

As I reflected on these words, I started to think about how incredibly insightful this passage is. How many times have I struggled with self-doubt? Apologized for things that were not my fault simply because I couldn't think of anything else to say?  How many times was I envious of someone because they got something I didn't think I deserved?  How often did I feel stuck?   Then I realized that I was not stuck:  I was unconsciously holding myself back from achieving true happiness in my life out of fear.  I was afraid of meeting new people, because I didn't want them to judge me. Or, if I did finally step out of my comfort zone and open up to people, I would always ask them, "Did you not talk to me at first because you thought I was bitchy?" Now, I would be stupid to think that people would actually answer that honestly-- but a few did, and that just HURT, but it opened my eyes enough, and now I see!  While I may have been self-loathing person, I still have FEELINGS.. Why couldn't anyone else see that?  How did people talk to me, but not hear me?  How could someone be so judgmental? They didn't know me.. Apparently I didn't know me either.  Hi my name is Lisa.  Have we met?? Let's do so now..

The next passage is a little different:

"Capacity is expressed in the present.  It is immediate.  The key to it lies not in what we have inside of us, but rather in what we are willing to own that we have inside of us.  There is no point in waiting until we are perfect in what we do... before opening ourselves to what we're capable of doing now.  Of course, we're not as good today as we'll be tomorrow, but how will we ever get to tomorrow's promise without making some sort of move today?" (p.276) 

You're probably thinking this sounds like a bunch of self-help mumbo-jumbo.  The fact is, that it is ALL true.  You may not believe the concepts mentioned in this book; you may not be ready to hear them, you may have stopped reading this blog 6 or 7 sentences ago..It's all ok.  I know that the words that I'm sharing I'm meant to share. I have a gift for writing.  I have the gift of a bubbly personality when I choose to let it shine.  I have the ability to see the solution to a problem before the problem fully exists.  It is time for the world to see that in me as God sees it.  I don't want to be paralyzed by my "potential" any longer. I want to live in the present, serving others, helping others... LOVING others. 




Now, how did I come to these conclusions? This is HUGE! * you're almost at the end of this post, you can finish*..

I know that this book is literally working a miracle in my life because tonight a small little miracle happened. (insert smile here) I had to confront my child about a repeated bad behavior.  I've had a gut feeling the past couple of weeks that his life is starting a downward spiral into pain that I've already witnessed, dealt with, and moved away from.  So, as I sat down to have a "discussion" with him about it, I did not feel anger (like I did before), I did not feel guilty for what I hadn't done in the past (like I did before), I just talked to him. I reminded him that he should consider his past mistakes as lessons to learn from, not repeat.

I assured him that I loved him, and that I was worried about him, but ultimately his actions were HIS choice. I can no longer control what he does, what he says, who he hangs out with.  I am my own person, and he is his own person... but we are connected through our LOVE.  I showed him LOVE tonight instead of my usual anger.  We ended up talking civilly to one another after the painful discussion was over, and hung out for a little while (a rarity these days) So when I tell you that I believe this book is working in my life, I mean I think that this book is working on my heart; to soften it, and make me open to give love and therefore receive love.

I am taking this opportunity to tell all of you that THIS conversation, THIS night, through LOVING words and an open heart is what will heal him, and strengthen me. My words showed my love for him, and my actions (or in this particular case- my lack of REACTION) showed my love. 

I guess it just goes to show that when you are full of love and when you give your love away; unconditionally, without ulterior motives- love comes back to you.. Will we have another one of these conversations again?  Probably, but with the miracle of LOVE in my heart.. I'm certain that it will end on a happy note. :)

All was right with the world, and then......

Today was a fantastic day!  The rain was drizzly, but it did NOT ruin our afternoon of commencement exercises for my daughter.  For that I am truly thankful.

However, the thing that most impressed me about today was the fact that I no longer let the ex get the better of me.  He is not a recent ex.  We have been happily (and sometimes NOT so happily) divorced for 17 years. We fight about most things divorced parents fight about, child support, who was going to keep the kids, blah, blah, blah.. but this weekend he shocked me.

He's never been one to be overly accommodating to me personally, but these last couple of days have been different. While I'd like to think that he's changed, I don't think that is it.  I think I have..

Through all of the inside and out personal changes I've been making, I think one of two things happened over the past couple of days.  1) I'm spiritually evolving making the little (translated-insignificant) things seem smaller than normal, or 2) I've changed so much that he either didn't know how to act, or what I would say next. 

We had the most delightful time talking, reliving old memories and caring for our children together, as it should have been for so long now.  There were no arguments, no snarky comments, no personal digs at one another.  It was pleasant... until it wasn't. 

However, since I'm not focusing on the not so positive things anymore, I won't go into details. 

Just know that my beautiful daughter (and did I mention last child) graduated high school today.  I'm so excited I can barely contain my enthusiasm any longer.

Change, change, change: You hear the Beatles now, don't you??

We all experience changes in our lives.  Sometimes these changes are welcomed; sometimes they just whack you out of left field.  Truth is, if you’re not willing to roll with the changes sometimes, you may be missing out on something that can literally transform your life from what it IS, to what it COULD be..  I don’t know about you, but I want to see where change takes me.

Yeah okay, we’ve all heard the cliché’s: “change is good”, “change is necessary”, or my personal favorite “change is hard”.  Well, no kidding!  Websters dictionary states that to change- is to transform, or convert.  How many times have you attempted to transform or covert something without a little resistance?  That resistance, it comes from YOU.. You may not want to admit this, but it is that voice deep down that says, “This is difficult” or “This is uncomfortable” that makes us afraid of transforming our lives, or quit. 

The staggering (yet, blatantly obvious) fact is change happens.

I have been undergoing some massive changes in my life.  Some deeply personal, some physical, and some are emotionally charged.  Unfortunately, I have not taken my own advice, and  I have been in this rut of deciding what to do about these things for months. Since I tend to over analyze things a bit (for those friends reading who actually KNOW me- you may stop laughing now), I often think about changing so much that I don’t actually change a thing. Why?? Because it is way more comfortable for me to sit and worry about things and how they COULD go, as opposed to me getting out there and making things happen for myself.  I think this is a small step in the right direction… hey, at least now I’m recognizing that I need to change some things about myself.

So I leave you with this:  How many times in the past 90 days have you been uncomfortable?  How many changes are occurring in your life right now (personally, or professionally)? How often do you look inside yourself to make sure that you’re actually transforming yourself or converting into the you that you’re capable of instead of the you that is afraid of change? 

My  recommendation to you is this:  Change one thing about yourself for one day.  ONE DAY is all I am asking for.  NO long term commitment; no contract to sign, and with my few loyal readers, it is not like I’m going to know who participated.  However, if you do elect to participate in this DAY of change, I welcome you to let me know how it went.  You don’t have to share with me; but as an unbiased person who writes a blog, I’d probably be a good person to share your changes with. 

Tell me about your transformation.  Tell me about your struggles.  Tell me about how great you felt after you made that change.  After all, change is inevitable; change is necessary,  but most importantly change is GOOD!

Knock, knock.. I HEAR YOU!

Ever felt like you're stuck in the middle of some knock, knock joke world?  Constantly being quizzed, laughed at, and nobody quite gets you?  That is me this week!  Wowza!  So I've been asking myself these questions.. When will I feel as though my life has meaning? When will people stop doubting me, stop shutting me down, and stop disregarding my feelings? When will people start realizing that I'm valuable? When will people GET me?
 
Here's the thing:  I will not settle for less than I deserve (Got that? I WILL NOT SETTLE).. but lately, I find myself doubting my future .. Now, when I say that I'm doubting my future, I don't doubt my ability to do ANYTHING. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Once I set my mind to something I can accomplish anything (except perhaps rebuilding a jet engine, OR developing the next Nobel prize winning physics equation)..Other people however, must think I am completely clueless about life in general!  This assumption of mine (that people think I'm clueless) is based solely on their reactions TO me; as a person, a coworker, a friend, a business partner, etc..  It's like I'm a small child who can't understand  "big people" words. This is how most conversations are going in my head this week:

Me: Knock, knock
People:  Who's there? 
Me: I'm an ADULT.. I heard you the first fifty times you told me that!!!" <-- Well, that's what it sounds like in my head anyway.  

The words that come out of my mouth are much different... less sarcastic, more straight forward. (Usually *wink, wink*)
 
How is it I can be so outspoken in some aspects of my life, and so guarded in others?  

People often confuse my guarded-ness with stupidity, lack of self-confidence, lack of pride, lack of motivation, or.. WHATEVER!!! 

I think that it's time people stop underestimating me..Tomorrow I take the guard down!  What is the worst that could happen, right?

Any thoughts? Anyone?  :)

Get angry, or get ahead?

I think I've been going about things in the wrong way lately. I have been trying to get positive by posting happy, inspirational stuff all over Facebook and my Google+ wall..but I figured out that while I'd like to think that is my true personality, I think I've found that I'm just the opposite.  No, no.. I don't mean I think I'm like the queen of doom and gloom or anything.. I think what motivates me, is NOT what motivates most other people.  In order for the fight in me to emerge, I need to get angry.. I have been stuffing down my emotions for so long, and honestly, stuffing down my emotions has not been pushing me towards my goal.  

So, I had an epiphany last night, and that is.. I'm freaking MAD!  I'm so angry about getting passed up for this thing, or looked over for that thing, that I am now motivated to go out and get WHATEVER I WANT! Who is with me?  

If you're tired of people taking all that should be rightfully yours, stop letting people push you.. get angry.. Don't get EVEN, don't seek revenge, use that angry energy to get what you want!  

What a girl (me) wants!!

Have you ever wanted something so badly, and it feels like it is just at the end of the fishing line.. You know what I'm talking about.. This feeling, it's like one of those days that you go fishing.. certain that day will be the day you "catch the big one".  Instead, your great fishing excursion turns into one of those days that you just sit there with your line in the water, losing bait..
 
Well, that's been my day. My week actually!! I want something so badly, it is literally driving me crazy!  Here's the kicker; I can't control it.  

Now, I suppose it is safe to say that I have some issues with control.. I don't like it when people try to control me, and I don't favor the feeling of being manipulated. Unfortunately this particular situation is completely out of my control.  Well, that's not entirely true.. I controlled the portion that I could.. but now I'm wondering if it was enough.  Was it enough? Am I enough? I just don't know..

Guess I will have to put this on the back burner and keep waiting (see.. I can control that).. 

Have a good night everyone, and a happy tomorrow.
 

Rip off the band-aid...

How many times have you put a band-aid on a problem?  As a mom, I can't tell you how many times I've told my kids that by putting a band-aid on a cut, it will heal.  I suppose in some way that is true;  after all, band-aids DO keep out bacteria that could hinder a wound's healing.. but there are some things that you just can't slap a band-aid on.  Like a weight problem..

Stay with me here, while I explain:  How many of you have gone on a "diet" by using diet pills, herbal teas, scales to measure food, or yucky pre-packaged box meals?  Ok, I see you raising your hands out there.. (not really, I'm not psychic..lol).. but seriously though..  

Let me ask you this.. How many of you got the results you wanted?  What?? No hands? Cat got your tongue?  Here's the thing.. in order for you to get results, you need to do ONE thing; and that is change your lifestyle!  It doesn't take rocket science for you to figure out that eating more calories than you're burning doesn't work: neither do pills, or teas, or measuring food for the rest of your life.  Nope, losing weight starts with YOU!  Your choices, your behaviors, and your actions dictate your results.

Now, what if I told you there was a way that you could get a TON of nutrition, and fewer calories all by drinking a milk shake?  And, that this "magic milk shake" IS a means to an end; a SOLUTION to your weight problem.  I know it sounds crazy, and if someone would have told me this information a couple of years ago, I probably would have laughed in their face. Here's the thing, it is true! I am living, breathing, healthier, skinnier proof, that by drinking two milkshakes a day I have learned to change my behavior.  I have lost over 110 pounds in 11 months. (If you've been following my blog, you'd know that 3 days ago, that was 108 pounds)..  

I have your attention now, don't I?

If you're still measuring your food, taking dangerous diet pills, or drinking nasty tea, think about this.. Is a band-aid really going to solve your weight problem? Band-aids for weight loss are like spinner hubcaps on your car.  Yeah, in theory it sounds like a great idea.. but in reality... not so much. 

Rip off the band-aid that is holding you back!  Rip off the band-aid that is protecting you from changing your life.  Rip off the band-aid that keeps you believing that there are temporary solutions to your weight problem.




Want to know more about these magic milkshakes?  Follow me on Twitter: giraffelover66

Not my style....

What a beautiful day.. the sun was shining, the bird chirping, and my bank account took a huge hit! Oops!

As I mentioned yesterday I was going shopping today to purchase new clothes for work. Normally my style (if you could call it that) is neutral tones; mostly black or gray, and jewelery is a minimum. I don't wear heels, I'm not frilly, I don't wear girlie colors,  and I like to be comfortable. Today, I was totally out of my element, and totally LOVING it!  I have to admit, I must have chosen some pretty cute stuff for my self-pronounced "fashionista" daughter to say to me (as she made me model everything I purchased, and then critiqued it), "I really, really, like that on you mom."  Followed by, "I tried once to rock the urban style, and couldn't do it, but it looks really good on you." 

Coming from my daughter, this is HUGE!

So, I am no longer feeling buyer's remorse on my purchases. The fact that I'm not feeling buyer's remorse is also huge. Because I am typically remorseful about any amount of money I spend on myself. I like giving to others instead.. it is just more rewarding, right? 

The lesson I learned today was this:  Although it is slightly uncomfortable to step out of my closet of comfort, if I can open my mind and try new things, I may just find out that it IS my style.  A new style to match a new me! 

When your clothes are too big and you're running low on patience.. 

I must have tried on 15 different tops this morning before I settled on the one I wore to work today. (For the record, that would be the FIRST one I tried on of course!!) I was already running late, and me being the obsessive person I am, had to put away all of the clothes I had thrown all over my bed while I was deciding which one looked the best (or should I say looked the least baggy)..

So, as I headed out the door this morning looking like a wealthy-ish hobo, in my baggy sweater, I decided that tonight on my way home from work, I was going to stop and buy some new tops.   Yeah... that didn't happen.. Traffic happened instead...oh joy!!  Seriously, where did all of these cars come from, and why can't people move out of my way when I want to get to the mall?  I hate going shopping  so when the urge strikes me, I go! (yeah guys, I'm every man's dream *wink, wink*)

Now I am on a mission this weekend. I desperately need to get some new clothes.  I have lost a lot of weight (108 pounds as of today), so I have found it necessary to buy new pants because I would literally be "mooning" all of my coworkers if I didn't. I just don't know why the hell I didn't think about the top half of my body.  I have to wear tank tops under EVERY shirt or else the girls would be spilling out all over the place (which is sooo NOT comfortable for me, unless I'm intentionally flashing for beads..lol)

So what's my goal this weekend, you ask?  My goal is to find some tops that are NOT t-shirts (because I already have 6 drawers of those, and I can't wear them to work), and buy them in bulk (multiple sizes of course because I'm still shrinking).  I'm making one trip out to the mall.. Wish me luck!