How can you put a pricetag on what I'm worth??

Last night as I was listening to a friend talk about her feelings of worthlessness.  That got me thinking about something.. How many times in the past have I been looking for that next exhilarating feeling, that next proverbial "stamp of approval" for things that I want to accomplish in my life? Keep reading to find out where that train of thought took me...

So many times in my past I was doing what was right (or at least felt right at the time), and what was expected of me; not what was necessarily making me happy, or giving back to others.  Now, I don't think my parents, teachers, or friends ever MADE me do things I wasn't comfortable with..that's not what I'm trying to say.. (please don't read between the lines here) I WANTED to do everything that I've done in the past..but I think what I ended up with was a sense of relief that I COULD do it, instead of the satisfaction deep in my soul that made me all warm and fuzzy. All I really WANTED to feel (with whatever I was involved in) was a feeling of WORTH. 

I would think to myself, "If someone could just see that I was a good person on the inside, and not really care about how (or what) I was doing on the outside" it will make me happier, more fulfilled..


Ya know, I think it is our natural instinct to want to please others. I think the power is within each and every one of us to want to make the best of a bad situation regardless of what that situation is.  However, in the past when I made decisions solely based on peer pressure, parental guidance, or a strong influencer's suggestion.. I had to ask myself.. "Am I really doing ths because I want to, or am I doing this to seek someone's approval and gain a little of their love and attention?"  Lately, I realize it was a little of both.  However, my internal desire to be loved and wanted often motivates me to do things that are not perhaps in the best interest of my own personal development.


So how have I been able to overcome these feelings of worthlessness?  I have been surrendering my life everyday. I have been making a list of personal items I need to let go of every day.  I have been seeking guidance, forgiveness for my attitude, and for my actions EVERY day. 

You've probably guessed that it is a constant struggle for me; realizing that I HAVE WORTH! I have an outlook like no other. I have dreams, goals, and abilities that no one else in the world has.. I have the power within me to change MY way of thinking. I alone, have the power to hang on to my faith and know with 100% certainty that whatever I am doing is what I am meant to do. That my friends gives me an incredible feeling of worth!

This song speaks volumes to me..