I once was lost, but hey... I'm not lost anymore WOOT WOOT!!! :)

So, have you ever had that feeling that you should be doing something, and you thought you knew what it was, but you weren't quite sure?  Well, I've been having a lot of those moments lately.. Stumbling around, going through the motions of my life, but not really fitting in, not really thinking that people truly accepted me for who I am, and well....I've been thinking that people couldn't accept me... as ME.. Until now.......  *insert applause here*


I am so excited about this.. I've been feeling a pull at my heart for months now; but I didn't know what I was being asked to do. I mean come on, ya'll already know that I tend to over analyze everything, right?? However, I've been quietly listening lately for an answer for what seemed like an eternity! I mean Seriously?!?!?! ANY ANSWER would be good.  Well, I am happy to admit that I've finally got that answer!!

For the past 3 months I have been attending CR. I have been focusing more on what I DO have, instead of what I don't. I have been surrounding myself with other people who have hang-ups like me.  We all know those kind of people don't we?? I mean really think about this for a second... (pause for *deep thinking*)... Yeah... THOSE people..You know... the friends and family members that have struggles in their lives, the ones that can't let go of the past, the ones that can't seem to get ahead in their relationships, or get ahead in life!!  Well, at CR, I've been listening, sharing, and observing for months and I am happy to report, I finally feel like I am home.  I finally feel like all of my struggles are melting away.  I finally feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted from me. I finally feel like I'm not ALONE!  

Now, do I think that I will never have another struggle?  Uh... No!  But I know that I am on the right path, and here's why:  I'm coming out of my shell again.  I'm able to carry on a conversation with people who I wouldn't ordinarily reach out to. I no longer feel like I have to keep up with anyone's stuff, I no longer feel like I have to compete with people for their love, or attention.  I just feel..........................Happy!  Internally happy; you know.. the kind of happy you should feel every day, deep within your soul.  How awesome is that??

I'll tell you how awesome it is for me:  I have made a huge decision to help others heal their hurts, habits, and hang-ups.  I signed the papers last night to solidify my responsibilities with CR.  Do I know how I will be used yet?  Nope.. Do I fully understand what this means? Nope.. Am I sure that this is the BEST thing for me?  Absolutely!!!!  Sometimes,  it's not about what I know in my head.. it's about what I feel in my heart.  I decided that I can be a useful tool to help others work through their personal struggles; their hurts, habits, and hang-ups.. and I can't express how thankful I am that I can be a part of others' healing, overcoming their struggles, and finding their internal happiness..  :)

That, my friends, is what makes ME happy. I'm no longer lost.. I'm no longer wondering what I'm supposed to do. I'm not ALONE, but I think I've found my home.