Who is this person?? Oh yeah, it's me!

So once again I have been blown away by an epiphany.  

As I was talking to a friend the other day, I kept hearing them utter the phrases "I can't", "I don't want to", "It's hard" and then it was like something exploded in my head.. That's exactly how I used to sound,  I thought to myself.. THOSE are the words I used to say, THAT is how I used to feel. What caused me to get to that negative place??  I say USED to, because it's like a light switch has been flipped in my head, those words just aren't in my vocabulary anymore. WOO HOO to me! 

I can't begin to explain the overwhelming sense of relief I have been feeling lately.  You must be thinking.. Gee Lisa, did you win the lottery or something? 

My response is: Nope.. that's not it.. 

In fact, I still have monetary struggles.  I still wonder how the kids will turn out as adults.  I am still concerned about health, fitness, and people's general well-being.  However, those issues are not in my control.  They are not my issues, and I need to surrender everything or I risk losing everything.... again... 

Well, if you've been following my journey, you know that there have been some drastic changes in my life. It seems sometimes like my life has really only just begun (Insert cheesy Carpenter's song here). 

While I feel as though I've accomplished so much in a relatively short period of time, until recently I had no real direction; no sense of purpose, no motivation, no REAL desire for anything good or bad, I just felt nothing.. No overly happy thoughts, no overly sad thoughts, I just felt nothing.. Could this be ALL there is for me?  Will I be stumbling through life wondering what I'm supposed to be doing forever?  Will I always feel like something is missing?  Surely that can't be right.. Because I am goal driven. I am capable of anything.. I am for all intents and purposes a lifelong learner-lifetime achiever.  

I have just chosen to take the learning to the next level!!  One that I believe will move me in an upward direction.

Here's the thing.. a Few months ago, I knew there was something missing in my life. I didn't know what "it" was, but it was always just out of reach.  What was that little voice in my head?  I had no clue.. but I knew I was missing out on something great. Something.. what was that??? 



So I made a choice!!  I made a choice to always focus on the positive, even if that means that I will take small steps to achieve greatness, I will make them anyway.  If I am (which I already know) going to inspire others, I need to inspire myself. If I am to be set free from the negative thoughts that surround me, I need to let them go.  I realized that other people's problems were not my own, but that I could still listen without being apathetic.
 
If you are remotely curious about my choices, if you want to know how I could turn from being negative to positive, please ask. If you want to keep reading to see if I change back to my old ways, I welcome you to keep watching.  If you want to keep reading to see how this all plays out (because you've known me before) you are very welcome to do that too.  


Feel free to post comments here to my wall if you are so inclined, or email me and ask. You can reach me at lisaschallenge@gmail.com